A Glee Musical Catastrophe
by Margarita Rosario
Summary: the glee club doing Sound of Music? uh oh.
1. Chapter 1 intro

**A GLEE MUSICAL CATASTROPHE**

**Summary: The Glee Club has to do a musical, but things get ugly when parts are distributed to the members. Things get messier when practice starts.**

**The Setting: before Regionals, and Jesse St. James is still a student of McKinley High, and Quinn Fabray is still pregnant.**

**Author's note: As much as I wanted to include "Wicked", I haven't seen it yet (Am such a loser! D: )**

**Disclaimer: Except for the story line, everything here is not mine.**

**Review! (Don't be harsh…)**

The chorus room was buzzing as a glee meeting was being held. Well, _barely_. Mr. Schuester was nowhere to be seen and everyone was busy doing something else other than practice. Santana was doing her nails while Brittany was trying to remember what she ate at lunch. Matt and Mike were joking around, as Quinn and Puck were whispering to each other. Finn was staring at Rachel, who was staring at Jesse, who was staring at Finn. Tina and Artie were exchanging words, and Mercedes and Kurt were exchanging gossip.

Suddenly, Mr. Schuester walked in.

"Alright guys. I have an announcement to make," he said loudly so as to avert the kids' focus on him. "Principal Figgins just told me that he wanted us to stage a play."

"A play?" Rachel yelped excitedly.

Mr. Schuester nodded his head. "Yes, Rachel, a play which you guys will perform live in front of a paying audience."

Rachel squealed with joy as the entire room was filled with excitement. "W-what k-k-kind of play?" Tina asked.

"That's exactly why I called for this meeting. I don't know, and I am open for suggestions."

More excitement filled the room.

"Chicago! Let's do Chicago!" Kurt shouted. But Mr. Schuester said, "That involves too much provocative stuff. Principal Figgins would not approve, especially after a certain incident…" he trailed off as he looked at Rachel as flashbacks of "Push It" came flooding his memory.

Thinking quickly, Kurt raised his arm again and said, "How about we do Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats. It's a great opportunity to showcase our talents in both singing and dancing."

Mr. Schuester's eyes brightened and said, "Great, Kurt. Let's try that." Turning to the group, he asked, "Any more ideas?"

It was Finn's turn to suggest something. "What if we do Rent? I had a glimpse of it once in the tv, and it has all this kinds of people in a group, like us."

"It also touches a very sensitive issue in the community. Well done Finn!" Mr. Schuester clapped his hands as Finn let out a small smile.

"Anything else?" asked Mr. Schuester to the group. No one answered.

"Any more suggestions?" Mr. Schuester asked again. And again, silence. Everyone looked at each other, and shook their heads. Some shrugged.

Brittany suddenly spoke out of nowhere and said, "High School Musical."

Everyone stopped and looked at her, shocked. "That's a great idea!" Mr. Schuester said, and quickly added it to the list. At first everyone was a little bit weirded out. I mean, come on! High School Musical? After a while though, the group started exchanging nods with each other. They _were_ in high school, after all, so it would make sense.

"What about Jesus Christ Super Star? I'm sure the principal is okay with that," Quinn suggested, to which Rachel shook her head in disagreement. "I don't think I can perform whole heartedly if we do that play, and we all know that everything will be in jeopardy if I don't," she said, to which Quinn just rolled her eyes.

"Can't we perform something more Jewish-friendly, such as The Sound of Music?" Rachel asked.

Mr. Schuester nodded quickly, his eyes sparkling. "That's a good idea, Rachel! We actually did that before when I was your age…" and he trailed off to memory lane.

As he did, Rachel let out a boastful smile and quickly added, "The Sound of Music is perfect because it is based on a true event in our world history."

Everybody else in the room rolled their eyes. What Rachel wants, Rachel gets. It seemed Rachel had the final word, yet again.

After a few minutes, Mr. Schuester went back to reality and started discussing about the plans for each musical, the Sound of Music first. Unfortunately, everyone got bored of the topic and soon they weren't listening to what Mr. Schuester was saying.

Not handling the boredom anymore, Santana said, "Mr. Schue? Can we stop? You're boring."

Mr. Schuester crossed his arms and asked, "Well what do you want to talk about?"

Rachel squeaked, "Parts! Let's discuss the distribution of parts!" Everyone agreed. "And practice right afterwards!" Mercedes said.

Soon everyone was pressing on parts and practice.

"It would make things quick," Kurt said.

After a trying out the kids' convincing powers, Mr. Schuester surrendered and shrugged, "Sure. Why not?"

**Next chapter will be Discussion of Parts! :D**


	2. Chapter 2 parts

**A GLEE MUSICAL CATASTROPHE**

**Summary: The Glee Club has to do a musical, but things get ugly when parts are distributed to the members. Things get messier when practice starts.**

**Disclaimer: Except for the story line, everything here is not mine.**

**Review! (Don't be harsh…)**

"Then let's discuss Sound of Music first," Mr. Schuester said, and he listed down the parts to be filled.

As soon as he wrote "Maria" on the board, Rachel screamed and said, "I want be Maria!"

Mr. Schuester looked at the team and asked, "Anybody object?"

People just shrugged. He sighed, and wrote Rachel's name next to "Maria".

Rachel then stood up and said, "Mr. Schue! Since this play is after all MY idea, I will take the liberty to choreograph and direct this activity."

Mr. Schuester looked at the team and asked, "Anybody object?"

People just shrugged again, and Mr. Schue nodded at Rachel.

After looking at the other parts to be filled, he soon said, "I think we should start with the children first. There's too many of them."

"I want to be Kurt!"

"Okay, Kurt. You'll be… Kurt…"

Mr. Schuester turned to Quinn. "Why don't you be Leisl?" Quinn agreed, and Mr. Schuester wrote her name next to Leisl. "Hmm… and Rolfe, Leisl's partner, will be…"

"I'll be Rolfe," Puck said. Mr. Schuester nodded and wrote his name.

Soon, realizing it was taking too long, Mr. Schuester randomly assigned the parts to the other kids. "Louisa will be Brittany since she's the tallest, Friedrich will be Artie, Brigitta will be Tina, Marta will be Santana, and little Gretl will be…"

"Rachel! 'Cause she's the shortest!" Kurt quipped. Rachel glared at him and said, "I'm already Maria!"

Mr. Schuester just sighed and said, "Tina will be Gretl." Tina looked confused and said, "B-But I'm already B-Brigitta."

"That's okay. You can have multiple roles, since they're small lines. Although I agree with Kurt that Rachel is the smallest (Rachel rolled her eyes as Kurt stuck out his tongue at her), she has harder, longer lines."

Tina nodded, and Mercedes shot up and said, "What am I, Mr. Schue?"

Mr. Schuester thought for a moment and said, "Why not Mother Abbess?"

Mercedes screamed, "Aw hell to the no! A nun? You want _me_ to be a _nun_?"

Mr. Schuester just shrugged and said, "It's the only part left that sings a solo…" And with that, Mercedes just grumbled at her seat.

Mr. Schuester then turned to Matt and said, "You'll be Max Detweiler." The jock nodded, and afterwards Mike Chang raised his hand and asked, "Mr. Schue? Can I be Adolf Hitler?"

Everybody in the room laughed. "Kurt should be Adolf Hitler! He fits the description." Rachel screamed, trying to get back at Kurt for his snide remark.

"I don't look good with a square mustache," Kurt said coolly. "If anyone's gonna be Adolf Hitler, it's gotta be Puck!"

"Or Ms. Sylvester!" Mercedes said. At this, a loud burst of laughter filled the room. Everyone laughed, even Mr. Schuester. Soon, the laughter died down.

"Okay guys. Back to the topic at hand. Who will be the baroness?"

Tina suggested, "It h-has to be either S-Santana or B-Brittany." The two girls looked at each other and smiled.

"Well, which one of 'em?" asked Artie. "Which one's hotter?" said Puck.

Santana curled her arm around Brittany's and said, "Why not both of us?"

"Okaaay…" Mr. Schuester said, a little confused, but trying to avoid any fueds, he just wrote on the board "baroness – Santana/Brittany".

Finally, he asked the team, "Who wants to be Captain Von Trapp?"

Kurt yelled "Finn!" simultaneously as Rachel shouted "Jesse!" The two looked at each other and continued shouting the names of their candidates. "Finn." "Jesse." "Finn!" "Jesse!"

After a while, Kurt and Rachel were already face to face and shouting at each other. Jesse laughed, amused. Finn on the other hand, looked worried.

Soon, the other students joined in the fight. Mercedes backed Kurt up. Matt and Mike were also for Finn, while the cheerios were for Jesse. Tina and Artie were on Finn, while Quinn was on Jesse's side. Puck just looked on, hoping for a full on brawl.

After an array of shouting coming from team Jesse and team Finn, Mr. Schuester couldn't take it anymore.

"Okay! Okay! Guys! Stop!"

They didn't.

Screaming frantically, Mr. Schuester announced, "First practice tomorrow at the Auditorium!"

**Boo yah! Mike Chang as Adolf Hitler? :D**


	3. Chapter 3 end

**A GLEE MUSICAL CATASTROPHE**

**Summary: The Glee Club has to do a musical, but things get ugly when parts are distributed to the members. Things get messier when practice starts.**

**Disclaimer: Except for the story line, everything here is not mine.**

**Review! (Don't be harsh…)**

"The hills are alive! With the sound of music…"

Rachel was twirling around on the ramp on the stage, arms flailing. Kurt just rolled his eyes while leaning on the wall in the backstage. Mr. Schuester, on the other hand, was watching expectantly while seated in the chairs.

"With songs they have sung… for a thousand years…"

Rachel did a little prance and leaped in the air. Kurt watched on, annoyed. Mercedes, dressed as a nun, walked up from behind Kurt and said, "Dare you to go on stage and outsing her."

Kurt stood up straight and said, "I got a better idea."

He walked in on stage, in front of the dancing Rachel. Rachel looked confused but just brushed him off, trying to push him out the stage. But as she walked past Kurt, Kurt stuck out his foot just in time.

Rachel went tumbling down the stage.

Everyone let out gasps and Oh-my-God's as Kurt and Mercedes laughed their asses off. Mr. Schuester screamed on the microphone "Kurt! What are you doing there?"

Kurt had on his puppy-dog eyes and said, "I thought my character was on…"

Mr. Schuester just sighed and said, "No, Kurt."

Kurt quietly left the stage, sashaying as he did, and Mr. Schuester asked Rachel, "Are you okay?" Rachel just grumbled as she got up.

"Next scene!"

Soon all the other girls, dressed as nuns, entered the stage.

"How do you solve a problem like Maria?" they sang, dancing around, their hands together, holding rosaries. The guys huddled together by the chairs.

The jocks looked at the dancing nuns, laughing. "I never thought I would ever see those cheerios to look like nuns…" Puck remarked.

Finn agreed. "I never thought I would see a _pregnant nun_!" he commented, looking at Quinn. Artie and Kurt laughed, as the jocks' laughter grew louder.

When the sing and dance number was finished, the girls went and sat next to the guys by the chairs. Kurt was laughing hard as he greeted Mercedes.

"Mercedes! You look like Whoopi Goldberg in the Sister Act!"

Everybody laughed out loud. Mercedes just said to Kurt, "Boy, you lucky you're my friend. Coz if you weren't, I woulda _whooped_ yo ass right about now…"

"Hey everyone! Next scene!" Mr. Schuester called.

The "children" went onstage. Arranged in a line, they started telling their names, von Trapp style, to Rachel a.k.a. Maria.

"Leisl!" said the pregnant Quinn. "Louisa!" went tall Brittany. "Friedrich!" Artie said as he rolled forward, then backward. "Kurt!" Kurt said with pizzazz… and a British accent. "B-brigitta!" stammered Tina. "Marta," said the Latina Santanna.

A pause. Then remembering, Tina quickly tumbled behind Santanna and hurriedly went to Santanna's other side as she called out "G-Gretl!"

Mr. Schuester just sighed as Rachel shook her head in distaste. Clearly, this scene would never work. "They look like an interracial family gone terribly, TERRIBLY wrong," she remarked.

Mr. Schuester sighed again and called out from the megaphone, "next scene…"

Suddenly, Finn and Jesse emerged from the opposite sides of the stage. "Edelweiss…" they both sang in unison. They stopped, then looked at each other in bewilderment.

Jesse looked at Finn with his eyebrows crossing and a glimpse of determination twinkling in his eyes, a sure sign of his competitive spirit unleashed. Rachel could be seen in the background with the same look of determination and competitiveness.

On the other hand, Finn looked at Jesse confused, as Kurt could be seen in the backstage wringing his hands devilishly and a smirk curling up his lips. Finn turned to him and whispered, "I thought you said this was my part…"

Kurt reassured him, "It IS. Now continue singing!"

"Edelweiss…" both continued. They looked at each other again, and as they sang each line, each other's voices grew louder and louder, both trying to outsing each other. Soon, the singing got really loud and terrible and Mr. Schuester was forced to stop the two.

"Guys! That's enough! Next scene will be the last, and when something still goes wrong, we're switching to another play."

The two boys stopped, panting hard. As they exited, Puck and Quinn went onstage.

"You are sixteen, going on seventeen…" Puck sang as he and Quinn danced on benches.

Although the scene was rather a good one, as Puck was really enjoying the moment as he danced with Quinn, and even though it was a genuine performance, everyone was on the edges of their seats as they watched the dance steps.

With every lift, eyes twitched. With every step on the elevated benches, everyone was eager to stand up and assist. When Quinn leaped from bench to bench, everyone shuddered.

"… I'll take care of you…" Puck sang the last line… And suddenly his foot slipped as he was carrying Quinn on the bench…

"Oh my God!" someone screamed.

And the two dancers plummeting into the cold hard ground…

Well, barely. Puck was after all strong enough, and as they fell, Quinn was still securely in Puck's arms. Of course, that didn't stop the entire glee club from crowding the stage with looks of concern. "Good God Puck! She's pregnant for crying out loud!" screamed Rachel.

"What? Everything's fine! I got her," Puck reasoned as he let Quinn down.

Mr. Schuester quickly went to the center of the mob in order to disperse them. "Okay, guys! I think things are getting out of hand here…"

The crowd went calm, and Mr. Schuester announced "We're doing a different play!"

**END! Haha!**


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